Once upon a time, on a day you probably barely remember, I spilt to you, the news that I was working on a brand new series of books that would hopefully spread the laughter of this blog amongst the miles. Not one to compete with myself or my own blog, I decided to write a fictional story about a young girl trying to deal with life in all its true forms and brutal truth and not replicate the glorified versions of which currently adorn the bookshelves of Waterstones everywhere.
Now admittedly, my first agent informed me that nobody wanted to read about how shit it was to lose your virginity and nothing like the magical event we imagine it to be, how some girls find penises repulsive to look at, never mind touch and more importantly have no idea what to do with them. And they definitely would not like to read about a girl who LIKED TO HAVE SEX but was not always so keen on the relationship aspect. Apparently my protagonist would be classed as a flawed heroine, and not only was she unrealistic and readers would not be able to identify with her but people wouldn’t like her either. Funny that, I feel like I know so many ‘flawed heroines’ that apparently people would not like #wounded.
It got me thinking, do we all have such an amazing experience of adolescence, or are there a ridiculous amount of Shannons out there, but we just don’t talk about it. Even in 2018, is it still not acceptable to act/feel this way, simply because you are a woman? Now if you have followed this blog for some time, you will know, that I am not very good at positive portrayal and much prefer to spew out experiences of real life to the masses that also have no chance in hell of every experiencing a seemingly ‘normal’ life.
So it will be of no surprise to fill you in that, I wrote the fucking book anyway. And I am sure that it will also be of no surprise to know that I found this book writing experience a total fucking nightmare. Maybe you were with me at the beginning of this journey, like 2 FRIGGING YEARS AGO!!!
Maybe you were convinced by a riveting cover and engaging blurb to download this emerging author’s debut novel’s free chapters. And now many moons later, long after you have no doubt forgotten the juicy innards of Shannon Black’s life, the weary author has had the time to finally finish the story. Yay! Like any good story, the process has not been without an evil witch or two. The ‘time fairy’ stole all of the writer’s time and she was enforced by her wicked mentor to split her lengthy tale into a series of books, even requiring a scary title change. Eek!
But a happy ending is surely on its way, as I bring to you great tidings of a release date of the book that should never be released. It seem then that you can all judge for yourself, whether Shannon is indeed normal or if we should put her in the stocks at Chesterfield Market and lob rotting vegetation at her? On Friday 20th July, 2018, your inbox will be filled with a joyous invitation to purchase the final offerings of the completed debut novel, the first in the series, ‘The diary of an Ageing Sexual Adolescent – The Harsh and Brutal Truth of Firsts’.
If you cannot contain your excitement and eagerness to be the first in line to grab a sparkling copy for yourself, then fear not because you can grab the first four chapters completely free right here.
Following the release tomorrow, for a whole two long weeks, my new release will be available exclusively, digitally on amazon at the discounted price of £2.99!
If you are not the e-reader type, then don’t worry, the paperback is currently being prepared and will be released shortly after on Friday 27th July. Who needs a god damn fairy godmother or indeed a likeable, identifiable, not flawed heroine? Just give me sleeping children, silence, some bananas for energy and a brutally honest exploration of the trials and tribulations of ‘sexual adolescence’.
The ageing and exhausted writer would like to thank you from the bottom of her heart for your patience and most of all for being a part of her journey to becoming a writer. I only hope you enjoy reading about her journey as much as I enjoyed writing it. And if you are missing my blog posts as much as I am also missing writing them, then watch this space. As following spending every available second I have sleeping and drinking for the next few weeks, then I will happily get back to being a keyboard warrior. Oh do I have some stories to tell!
Wishing us all a happily ever after,